The Art of Balancing Validation

The Art Of Balancing Validation

Seeking validation has become an integral part of our social fabric, it is not uncommon for individuals, particularly women, to find themselves struggling to strike a harmonious balance between their innate desire to please others and the need to maintain their own well-being. I invite you to learn more about the joys and unique struggles of this beautiful character trait. The goal of this blog is to inspire, and empower those who yearn for validation, while offering insights into achieving a balanced and fulfilling life.

All of us are inherently social creatures, driven by a deep-rooted need for connection and acceptance. This primal instinct often manifests in seeking validation from others, as it strengthens our sense of self-worth and belonging. Unlocking the secrets behind this desire is essential to understanding the psychology. For those who have mastered the art, it is a delicate dance of seeking validation and approval that can both elate and confound. Many grapple with finding a balance in their daily lives.

Think about going through a week where every word spoken and action taken is met with resounding applause and admiration. It is a seductive notion, one that appeals to the deepest recesses of our psyche. For people who seek validation, the allure of pleasing others becomes an intoxicating elixir, capable of awakening a sense of importance and self-worth. It’s a rewarding experience to receive affirmation and adoration, but without balance this can establish a habit that can also become a double-edged sword. The constant craving for approval can lead to an overwhelming reliance on external validation, compromising one's own authenticity and autonomy.

While seeking validation is natural, an excessive need to please others can have detrimental effects on one's well-being. It may lead to a constant state of anxiety, a loss of personal boundaries, and a diminished sense of self. Recognizing the pitfalls of this behavior is crucial in order to break free from its suffocating grip. Like tightrope walkers, we can find ourselves suspended between the desire to please others and the need to honor our own well-being. Juggling the expectations of others while preserving authenticity and self-care.

This behavior is influenced by a multitude of underlying psychological factors, each playing a significant role in shaping an individual's propensity to seek validation and approval. Attention becomes a coveted currency. The desire to be noticed, to have one's efforts acknowledged, is a driving force that propels many to go above and beyond. It is a yearning for recognition, a hunger to stand out in a sea of faces. The fear of rejection and the desire for control are two prominent factors that contribute to the development of people pleasing behavior. By understanding this, we can better our self-discovery and personal growth when finding a balance between the innate desire to please others and the need to maintain our own well-being.

Fear of Rejection:

One of the primary psychological factors that contribute to people pleasing behavior is the fear of rejection. Everyone has an intrinsic need for social acceptance and belonging, and the fear of being rejected or ostracized can be overwhelming. This fear often stems from past experiences, such as childhood rejections, bullying, or traumatic events that have left a lasting impact on an individual's psyche. To avoid the pain of rejection, we can adopt a strategy of constantly seeking approval from others. Believing that by meeting the expectations and demands of those around us, we can secure a sense of belonging and avoid the potential pain of exclusion. This fear-driven behavior becomes a pattern, deeply ingrained, and as we strive to gain acceptance and validation there is a tendency to do it at any cost.

Desire for Control:

Another psychological factor that contributes to people pleasing is the desire for control. The belief that by pleasing others, you can exert control over your relationships and environment. This desire for control can stem from a variety of underlying reasons, such as a fear of chaos, a need for certainty, or a deep-rooted sense of insecurity. By seeking to fulfill the desires and expectations of others, there’s an attempt to maintain a sense of control over our social interactions. The belief that by meeting the needs of others, you can influence the outcome of relationships and ensure positive outcomes. However, this desire for control can become a burden, as the constant need to please others can lead to a loss of personal autonomy and a diminishing sense of self.

The Complex Web:

It is important to note that the development of this behavior is not solely attributed to the fear of rejection and the desire for control. These factors often intertwine with other psychological elements, such as low self-esteem, a need for external validation, and a fear of conflict. The intricate web of these factors creates a complex psychological landscape, shaping the behavior and mindset of individuals who struggle to find a balance between their own needs and the expectations of others. By recognizing the fears and desires that drive this, we can begin to gain insight into our patterns and take steps towards finding a healthier balance.

Steps to improve:

Balance: Find a balance between the desire to please others and the need for self-care. Three things that can help to find that balance are a combination of

SELF-REFLECTION

Ask yourself the following questions:

• How am I feeling at this moment in time?

• Why am I experiencing positive/negative emotions?

• What is going well in my life?

• What would I change in my life?

• What can I improve in my life?

• What is my greatest achievement?

• What am I thankful for?

ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING

How to be assertive:

1. Value Yourself and Your Rights

2. Voice You Needs and Wants Confidently

3. Acknowledge That You Can’t Control Other People’s Behavior

4. Express Yourself in Positive Way

5. Be Open to Criticism and Compliments

6. Learn to say “No”

7. Review Your Progress

BOUNDARY SETTING

1. List Your Most Important Priorities

2. Pay Attention to Your Intuition

3. Assume Responsibility for Your Needs

4. Expect the Discomfort

5. Continuously Remind Yourself of the Benefits

6. Take Time for Yourself

7. Only Offer What You Have To Give

By being more aware in these areas we can learn to navigate the joy of people pleasing while maintaining our well-being. This balance allows us to maintain personal values and still develop genuine connections.

Authenticity: By maintaining a genuine sense of identity and self-acceptance, we can gradually shift our focus from external validation to internal fulfillment. Through authenticity you can develop healthy relationships and build a strong foundation for personal growth.

As we conclude reflect on your own journeys, your own yearning for validation, and your quest for balance. The pursuit of validation is a dance we all partake in, and finding the harmonious balance between looking out for others while honoring ourselves is a lifelong endeavor worth undertaking. So use what tips you can and enjoy your journey.